Thursday, September 30, 2010

September 29th 2010 - Wednesday - The Empress



Today was the third Trump Card, the Empress. I got it upside down. The quick understanding of this card is this: Look to where you are being defensive or overly protective of your heart. Take a risk and open your heart. The Empress is a great card, it is the ultimate feminine. It will be followed by the Masculine power, the Emperor, in the sequence of the trumps. This is the mother card. The angel of mothers. This is about self love. And love of others. It is merging and bonding, but also waxing and waning. The feminine is a flow, up and down, anger love, hate compassion.

Reversed this shows that there is a part of me that is not being loved. Not feeling loved. Not feeling mothered. It can also mean I am over protected someone ELSE, and not letting them grow.

And this could be exactly what the card means, because my son is 16 and having girl problems right now, and at times I have been overly protective of him in this regard. I have given him tons of advice, and sent him a lot of energy. It could be a place where I decide to let him learn the lesson by himself (as he's obviously just not going to really listen to me). The true Empress will protect her young, those she loves, but not enable them to be wimps. She can go Kali on them and get pissed! (Holy shit do I remember my mother going off on me sometimes, when she thought I was being dumb! Somehow she always came at me with the Empress feel, that of a mother who loved me so much she would kill me for being stupid.)

This is a time to be vulnerable. Try that today. I find more and more as I go through life that I don't necessarily gain anything. Which makes sense, in the end we'll all be dead and have nothing. But in a sense of growth, I've also felt I wanted to grow, to see progress. But more and more I'm just seeing there isn't really any growth either. We just ARE. And if we choose to live each moment as the Empress, the LOVE of the world, then that is great. If we don't, then I guess we are just kind of wasting our time. We are either present with love, or not.

The rest is bullshit. I mean, you have to separate yourself from results. When you can live your life pursuing your deepest purpose and love, while not worrying whether you succeed or fail, laughing at all the mistakes you make along the way, but feeling EVERYTHING, and just loving and doing it... that is where you want to be. For some reason talking about the Empress this morning brought this all up and I share it with you.

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