February 28th, 2014 ~ Friday ~ Gain

February 28th, 2014 ~ Friday ~ Gain ~

I told you. You can't say I didn't tell you. This week is not going to let us pass until we make a shift. So yes, ladies and gents, here we are again, pulling the same cards we pulled earlier in the week. Big smile or big sigh.....let's recap. The week of Indolence (stuckness) started with the Death/Snake cards, then moved to the Power/Scarlet Macaw cards on Tuesday, Gain/Bear cards on Wednesday, and the Death/Badger cards on Thursday. And here we are, once again with a slightly different but slightly the same combo of Gain/Snake cards for Friday. Phew!

So what is the grand dame, ye' ol' mighty and vast universe telling us now? It is telling us that we have begun to find a smidgen of movement in this week of swampy goodness. It is also telling us that if we sustain this movement, this wiggle, this tiny wriggle that we have going on we will start to create more space in our life. And with more space comes new energy. And with new energy comes a rebirthing of one sort or another. No one is saying this is easy and I am sure their are moments that "movement" feels like the last thing you want to do, but do it anyway. Bring energy to the area in your life you have been wanting to flesh out and plump up. Bring focus to that project you know will be successful, if you just had a little more time. But let's be honest, we are not going to get more time......so do it now.

Once again the snake is a great reminder when dealing with bringing in fresh energy. Snakes shed their old skin only to be "reborn" with a new skin, a new form. Snakes are also quick and agile which is a reminder that now is the time to act. Now is the time to pull your deep down, grounded energy and make mountains move. 

February 27th, 2014 ~ Thursday ~ Death

February 27th, 2014 ~ Thursday ~ Death

Well....... we started the week of Indolence with the Death card, and here we are once again on this fine morning. This week is not going to let us go until we make the necessary shift, dear one, so let's keep going. Frustrating as it may seem to be once again visiting the Death card it is telling us something important.......... Further. We must go further. Now is not the time to fuzz out and get distracted or lazy or make excuses . You have come too far to drop all your efforts now. Go further. Continue to find those fibers laced throughout your energy field that are old and have worn out their welcome. Where are you still holding onto old behavior and using it as an excuse to stay stuck?  Where are you still engaging in an old story so you can continue to be the victim? Where are you allowing your fears to keep you boxed in and smaller than you truly are?

Well........stop it. :)

The Badger is here to help us today. The Badger is a mighty muscle on four legs. Nobody messes with the Badger and the Badger doesn't engage in anyone else's ridiculous nonsense.  The Badger is a solitary animal and does not play well with others. Perhaps it is time for us to heed this message. As humans, we are master manipulators particularly when it comes to convincing ourselves we need to stay stuck. Well, the Badger is telling us to cut the crap and get real. The other thing the Badger is telling us is that it is time to dig. Badgers are subterranean beasts and will tunnel deep into the earth, ripping and shredding through roots, rocks, clay, and any other obstacle that gets in its way. So get digging, my dear. Dig like your life depends on it because maybe, just maybe, your authentic life does.

February 26th, 2014 ~ Wednesday ~ Gain ~

February 26th, 2014 ~ Wednesday ~ Gain ~ 

Today is about the coming and going and flowing of life in this fabulous universe of ours. The Gain card reminds us that we cannot hold onto anything in this lifetime but the natural flow of energy will ensure that when one thing goes, it creates a space for something new to come in. Look at where you are clutching onto an energy that should be handed over to the universe instead. We cannot call in our next step unless we are willing to create space for it. Creating space for it requires that we let go of our old, shabby, moth-eaten energy shrouds. Perhaps it is time to let go of a habit, perhaps it is time to let go of a relationship, perhaps it is time to let go of a job. The other key to the gain card is the concept of generosity. If you feel stuck or scared just give a little. A little movement creates a little space. And that, my dear, is better then no movement at all.

The Bear is the guide today as we navigate the flow of life. The Bear is a master at listening to life's rhythms. The Bear does not cling onto summer and refuse to prepare for a long winter's hibernation. The Bear allows for the coming and going of the seasons and acts in accordance to the cyclical nature of life. Tap into Bear energy today and let old ghosts go. Allow and embrace the next wind that is attempting to blow through your life. The Bear is also a great reminder to heed your inner voice and your inner rhythms. Do not get caught up indiscriminately eating what the external world is dishing. Get, quiet, go within, and listen.

February 25th, 2014 ~ Tuesday ~ Power ~

February 25th, 2014 ~ Tuesday ~ Power ~ 

Today you will need to begin to solidify where in your life you feel powerful and how you can use your innate power to propel yourself forward during this challenging week. If you recall, this week's theme is indolence. It is a week of discontentment. It is a week of using that discontentment to blow the roof off this popsicle stand. The beauty of this is that we are all extremely powerful in unique ways. And we can tap into that power to see us through the challenge as long as it is used with integrity.

When we are feeling stuck or frustrated or upset it is tempting to cheat and use our power to overrule the situation. Not today, my dear, or you will find yourself creating a pattern that may dissipate for now, but will most assuredly revisit your space until it is resolved without hooks, avoidance, or residual grudges.


An animal guide that can helps us navigate this energy is the Scarlet Macaw. The Macaw is well known for it's ability to not only mimic human speech but also exhibit an intricate language all their own. They are incredibly smart and some believe they have the emotional maturity of a 2 or 3 year old child. The Macaw reminds us that our words and actions have power today and we should wield them well. The Macaw also reminds us that we may have to be a bit creative in how we respond to emotions or emotional situations. If you truly want to sink into your authentic power you need to understand your inner workings and discern how to use your words, intuitions, and emotions in the most effective, healthy, and powerful way.

Spring

As spring comes closer here in Utah, to all of you who are expanding, stretching, and reaching through this tough period of time, here is a picture for you:

I don't have an attribution for the picture, who made it, so if anyone knows, tell me so I can give the person who made it credit!

February 24th, 2014 ~ Monday ~ Death

February 24th, 2014 ~ Monday ~ Death ~

Well here we are, standing on the doorstep or our week of Indolence, and what card do we happen to stumble upon to kick it all off? The Death card, of course! We are not messing around this week which is great news in the realm of making actual progress. As we reflected on the Indolence card for the week, we decided it was time to stoke the fires of discontentment and really get into the meat and bones of what is making us unhappy, stuck, tired, frustrated, and downright pissed. The Death card reminds you to not only identify the areas of discontentment but to actually begin cutting them away. Big, wide, swathes, of stuck life-force energy can be eliminated if you are really willing to get your hands dirty. Now is the time to cut out the festering habit, the unhealthy hooks, the childish expectations. Now is the time to die and become reborn into the next iteration of ourselves, our true selves.

Snake is an ancient symbol of life, death, and rebirth. Snakes continue to grow throughout their entire life which is why they must shed their skin. This shedding is symbolic of the scraping off of the old shroud that no longer fits our needs in order to reveal our new shape, our new form in the world. Snakes eyes also become clouded over during the shedding period which indicates an ability to move between the realms of life and death. This is an ability that will come in handy as we muster every ounce of energy to move through the week of Indolence and peel out the other side as our new, less burdened selves.

Card of the Week ~ Sunday, February 23rd - Saturday, March 1st ~ Indolence

Card of the Week ~ Sunday, February 23rd - Saturday, March 1st ~ Indolence ~

Good morning, and welcome to your week of moving through molasses, breeding ground for the discontent in all of us. This week will be one of swampy goodness with a dash of boredom, and a heaping serving a "meh". Our emotional body will feel a bit down in the dumps and energy may be low. Why  would we be given a week of such delights? Because it is a week like this, a week of  discontent, when we get real and begin evaluating what we want. We know we don't want to continue to feel stuck, we don't want our energy to be constipated and stagnant. But what DO we want? What is calling us, what is our next step. Stir the sludge of your discontent and really find out what you need to get moving. So often we try to avoid feeling discontent, but it is actually one of the greatest indicators that we need to re-evaluate and start moving in a direction that is congruent with how we want to live our lives. Discontentment is the divine canary in the coal mine, so pay attention.

Ants are a great example of where we can get stuck and where we can subsequently get unstuck in our lives. Ants are masters of the mundane. They work, haul, cut, build, gather, and hunt. Industrious and always filling a role within their world. As we think about the ant we can begin to feel the areas in which we are just going through the motions and are not truly invested in what we are doing. We can feel the areas that have become habit and are not contributing to growth or movement. Look hard at those areas and stoke your discontentment. You are not going to get out of this without a full head of discontent steam behind you. Another great reminder from the ant is that you are stronger than you look. Ants can lift up to 50 times their body weight in order to get a job done. You too are stronger than you give yourself credit for, especially when you use your discontentment as an ally as opposed to a enemy.

February 22nd, 23rd 2014 ~ Saturday - Sunday ~ Strife

February 22nd, 23rd 2014 ~ Saturday - Sunday ~ Strife ~
Ah the card of the weekend......what a beauty. Strife abounds and we are all in for a ride. Let's settle in, buckle-up, strap-in or strap-on because there is no getting around this. There is a tremendous amount of energy this weekend and it is all coiled up behind a mighty conflict. A real bruiser. What you need to ask yourself at this time is, "How can I navigate this space so that damage is not done?" It is a tricky landscape and one hasty or ego-filled move could land you in the fire.
Speak plainly and openly about this conflict. Leave ego and sarcasm at the door and find your true voice behind what is going on. If things are too intense right now and you know you cannot engage without triggering WWIII, then take some time and find a way to detach from the emotion, hurt, pain, or fear behind the conflict. All conflicts are great stirrers of insecurity and fear which provides fertile ground for growth, but now is not the time to decorate your band-aid while there is a infection-infested, puss-filled, gangrenous gash underneath.
Find a way to navigate this conflict that is not a bloodbath and is also not a collapse. It is important to resolve this and do it cleanly and sharply so that is is good and over by the end of the weekend.
Our animal guide as we walk through the Strife card is the gecko. Gecko will bite if provoked and is a renowned exterminator of household pests. Quick and decisive little buggers, they are great examples to not let things linger and get funky. Geckos are also great reminders to detach when you can feel yourself getting too wound up. When gecko is preyed upon it can detach from its tail leaving nothing but a pulpy, wriggling, disembodied stump in the predators clutches while they scurry to safety and live to fight another day.

February 21st, 2014 - Friday - The Empress

February 21st, 2014 - Friday - The Empress - Here comes the Mother Empress on a Friday!  Is that you?  Sitting on your throne, ready for a little worship.  You need it.  You deserve it.  You have worked hard. 

If someone isn't pampering you today, and giving you that extra gift, then give it to yourself.  Seeing as how we are in a Moon week I'm guessing it's a solo affair today, and you are going to have to self love yourself into openness. In the end, as you dig into these layers of yourself that you've been discovering, you have to love them.  You have to love even the parts that you let go.  There is a sense of danger out there, but you need to take a risk.  Love yourself, love others, and allow yourself to be worshiped.

Consider the Greek Gods.  They were the true Archetypes of Humanity.  They weren't 'perfect ideals' that no one could live up to.  They were real people, with flaws (horrible flaws) and virtues (great virtues).  They had specialties, yet they had multiple sides to their personalities.  All loved to be worshiped, gained power from it, the dark and the light.  They were reflections of the mixed up dysfunctional tribe of humanity.  Mothers, Sons, Fathers, Daughters. 

As the strong feminine flows through you today, the Moon's waning effects still linger, and Venus comes to the fore, mothering, nurturing, protecting.  Today the feminine Empress who needs to be taken care of, mothered, nurtured, and protected is you.  

February 20th, 2014 - Thursday - Peace

February 20th, 2014 - Thursday - Peace - The Moon and Libra means you will achieve a clean balance in all areas of your life today.  Tuesday your Peace was unsettled, but today it's feeling a lot better.  The Moon Walk this week is progressing nicely.  It's not over, the path through the shadows, but you are navigating it very well.

Today you have help from Libra - The Angels of Balance and Justice will guide your awareness today, to look and see where the world is out of balance.  

The real call of these angels might be something you hadn't expected.  Two Libra cards: BALANCE.  JUSTICE.  We are in the weird energetic formation where you are being called to stand up, arm yourself with a sacred weapon, and go to war.  Who else?  The Angels are on your side, and they want YOU to redress this imbalance.  It won't be done for you.  YOU have to do it.  Consecrate your efforts for the highest good through prayer and appeal to these very same angels, then do what must be done.  Go to war.  And when you are done slaying the beast, drop your weapon and walk away clean without any hooks or attachments, just a warrior who has done his/her job, and is done.

February 19th, 2014 - Wednesday - Completion

February 19th, 2014 - Wednesday - Completion - Is your moon walk complete?  A part of has come to a close and a new beginning is made.  Venus and Aries are making up.  Through the steady plodding of the Tortoise energy you are making your way through the shadows.  In the discovery of opposites you find balance.   

But...you know the Moon week isn't over don't you?  There is a harmony today, and it's okay to settle in your body and resurrect yourself for the next upcoming round.  And you know how to handle that next round don't you?  The Tortoise will guide you.  Slow and methodical.  Lift your head up like this fellow in the picture, and take a look around, then get back at it.  

February 18th, 2014 - Tuesday - Peace

February 18th, 2014 - Tuesday - Peace - Moon - Libra - On your moon week as you walk through the valley of illusion, you got the message of patience yesterday, and today the message is of a tentative balance and peace.  You have a longer journey through the layers of your ego than you thought.  Old illusions... well they die hard.  There are so many layers...

The key is to use your mind like a sword to cut the layers away.  See clearly.  See clearly again.  Look, look, look.  All demons are banished by light.  Use your pointy little brain to SEE clearly instead of making up stories about the layers of fog that make up the self.  Cut.  Dice.  Dig.  Slice.

The Blue Jay gives us an animal totem inspiration:  Fearless, adaptable, resourceful.  The Blue Jay reminds us that we are on the path.  We walk through the valley of shadow and death.  And we need to keep going.  Peace is to be fought for.  The illusion won't just kindly disappear.  You need to bring your A game to this week.    

February 17th, 2014 ~ Monday - Prudence

Guest Column by Guest Psychic Jennifer Stanchfield

February 17th, 2014 ~ Monday ~ Prudence ~

We could not have pulled a better card for a week ruled by The Moon. The Prudence card reminds us to be patient and stay in the flow of life. Life may be challenging right now. You may be feeling the squeeze as you are making a shift into something new and once again the tendency will be to either try and force the shift or become distracted away from making the shift altogether. Stay the course, my dear, and allow the universe to do its thing. Ever so slightly you are moving toward something new and indicated. Now is not the time to fuzz out and allow your ego to send you off on a tangent.

The squirrel is a great example for us when we are dealing with this type of energy. The squirrel is a gatherer and must methodically stay the course in order to create abundance for the long winter ahead. Squirrel is also a fantastic reminder that as we stay the course we should remember to smile and play along the way. Squirrel has gotten a reputation as being flaky and easily distracted because of their playful and inquisitive nature. But this is actually not true. They listen to their internal rhythms and find the perfect weaving together of grounded perseverance while engaging in the delightful theater we call life. 

Card of the Week ~ Sunday, February

Card of the Week ~ Sunday, February 16th - Saturday, February 22nd ~ The Moon

“We are going to the moon that is not very far. Man has so much farther to go within himself.” 
― Anaïs Nin

This week is all about going beneath the surface and listening to your deeper rhythms, your intuitive heartbeat.
In our society we are often overstimulated by the verbal and visual din that bombards us all day, every day. This
overstimulation creates a vibration in our nervous system that we have become used to, even addicted to. When we do not feel the incessant buzz running up and down our core, we will create it by turning on the t.v., fidgeting, finding internal or external conflict, or perhaps creating stories around ourselves or others. We feed off this wasp-like buzz and feel uncomfortable when it is not there.

This week you will need to go below the buzz. In order to make your next step you will need to glean information from your intuitive tentacles. You will want to listen to the underlying message that is coming in from those around you. This may mean heightening your ability to listen to someone's words while deciphering whether their body language is congruent with their message. For example, a friend or lover may shower you with verbal praise but they keep the front of their body turned away and their eyes averted. Perhaps they are being disingenuous. Perhaps they are being honest but they are uncomfortable with giving praise. Perhaps they are afraid you will reject them. Whatever it may be, listen to your subtle rhythms to determine your next move. Do no not ignore this internal wisdom or you may find yourself wandering down the path of distraction. A path with which we are all familiar. A path that each one of us has decorated in our own special way to keep us on whatever gerbil wheel we have become accustomed to.

As you wade through this week, use the wolf as your guide. Wolves are highly tuned into body language and they are keenly aware of changes or disturbances in their environment. Wolves do not create a story around something or someone they sense is untrustworthy. They simply listen to their senses and act accordingly. Wolves are also a great reminder that sometimes we must forge through this next challenge on our own. We must quiet the buzz of our environment to discern our next move.

February 15th, 16th ~ Saturday - Sunday ~ Cruelty

February 15th, 16th ~ Saturday - Sunday ~ Cruelty - Death by a thousand cuts is an apt way to describe the thread weaving through your weekend. Not physical cuts of course, but something much worse..... mind and ego are your captors this weekend, my dear. Brilliantly machined facets of our human workings that know you so well that when they cut, they don't miss. Perhaps we are toddling down the mental checklist about being single on this weekend after Valentine's day, or perhaps we are ruminating on Valentine's day plans that went awry. Now, I know some of you are reading this and you are thinking, "Self? Why would I care about Valentine's day?" or perhaps, "Self? Why is this ninny of a card reader focusing on this one little day and ruining my whole weekend?" I am so glad you asked, please allow me to explain. Whether you want to call this period of time around Valentine's day "early spring", "late winter", or a "turd on the calendrical wheel" it is a time when our reptilian body-minds are beginning to shift ever so slightly. Days are getting a bit longer, there are moments when we can feel an ever-so-slight softening toward the next season, and there are unconscious stirrings in slow, sleepy parts of our minds and bodies that have been hibernating for a few months now. Just like a calm pond, if you start to prod the bottom lightly you are going to begin disturbing long buried things, sluggish and sticky things, things that might not be so pretty to look at after a long winter's nap. So what doe this all mean? What this means is, let the silt and muck, and goo move through you this weekend without pausing to examine each and every dark particle. If you feel bad this weekend, then allow space for that, but put away your mental microscope because there is nothing to be gleaned. This weekend is a weekend to tap into the wisdom of your body and listen to what it is telling you in order to move through the muck. And give notice to your mind and ego that they are not required this weekend and they are free to go, you will see them Monday morning over a strong cup of coffee.

February 14th, 2014 - Friday - The Moon - Valentines Day

February 14th, 2014 - Friday - The Moon - Valentines Day - You started the week with double power, (Monday and Tuesday) and traveled into Debauch and Failure (Wednesday and Thursday).  The Moon card completes the sentence perfectly and puts it all in context:  Fear. 

Today you are facing the Death / Rebirth process.  With your power, you are facing and passing through your fears, letting a piece of yourself die in the process.  You can’t go around them.  You can’t go over them. You can’t go under them.  You can only turn away or go through them.

This journey leads into the sticky realms of debauchery and failure… and ultimately into death and meaninglessness.  This is your journey, you are alone, and this is the path.  This is your test.

And yet the universe always plays fair… if you MUST do it… you CAN do it.  Answers ARE provided.  They are put out there right in front of you.

I will leave you with a quote from Mark Twain:

“The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.”

Remember: if you MUST… pass through this door… you CAN.  

February 13th, 2014 - Thursday - Failure

February 13th, 2014 - Thursday - Failure - The root density of Debauch yesterday lingers with you like a hangover today.  You feel the fear of failure most strongly in the area of finances today.  You feel like the Gods themselves are against you, wrangling you with their machinations.  Why is it so hard? 

Sure, I can tell you that failure leads to success.  The aphorism reads in business: “I’ve learned more from my failures than my successes.”  But I want you to challenge that today.  The more true statement might be this: “I’ve developed more CHARACTER from my failures than my successes.”

But if you want success… then you need to ask yourself today if you aren’t wasting your time developing CHARACTER instead.  Character development and growth is a fantastic ride in this amusement park.   And if that’s the ride you are on, then this chunk of failure you manifested today is just what you need to build even more character!

Rejoice in your failures, and pass through them (and the fear behind them) as you create, shape, and manifest your character. 

But be mindful.  You might not want CHARACTER right now.  You might want success.  And if that is the case, then you need to refocus your desire onto what you really want (success).  And then pass through the fiery fear of failure anyway, discarding that ‘character’ you gained as well.  The ‘success’ and ‘character’ rides might be in totally different parts of the amusement park.

February 12th, 2014 - Wednesday - Debauch

February 12th, 2014 - Wednesday - Debauch - Last night felt stuck... woke up feeling stuck.  Said to meself: I'm gonna pull the Debauch card.  Smile: I pulled the Debauch card.  Need me some debauchery.  Today you want what you want in a purely primal way.  It can sometimes be a good thing to just want something for what it is.  But the emotional flow behind it is stuck, putrid, and getting sick. So your primal focus is distorted by the stuckness.  That's good information for me to have.  I like when I have that drive (Power Card) but when it comes from a place of sickness... that stuckness, that place where you lie to yourself and say: "Hey, I'm fine." You aren't fine. But you don't know that.  Dangerous place to be and the crap that comes up out of that energy is black.  The bottom line of this whole thing is that you and me, we are afraid of something. And that is what is causing the stuckness, and that is what causes a domino effect.  Everything today coming from that fear.

Fear of nothingness.  Fear of void.  Fear of blackness.  

The solution is always the same: Enter the fear.  Enter the blackness.  Go through.  Don't deny.  Get real honest with yourself.  This is that good type of depression I talked about a while ago.  

February 11th, 2014 - Tuesday - Power

February 11th, 2014 - Tuesday - Power - Sun Capricorn AGAIN... twice in a row.  The Call to POWER.  The depth of integrity in manifestation:  You have the power to manifest.  You have surrendered... you are now open to co-creating with the universe.  You are aligned. What you want is what the universe wants and you are going to manifest it on this plane.

February 10th, 2014 - Monday - Power

February 10th, 2014 - Monday - Power - Ironically the message of this card today is about giving up your power and surrendering.  I call this ACTIVE SURRENDER.  It's the opposite of 'quitting' or giving up.  It's bringing to bear all the power you have... to stop resisting.  It takes willpower, it takes strength, and it takes guts.  To Surrender.  Today, use all the power you have in the world to SURRENDER.

February 9th, 2014 - Sunday - Ace of Swords

February 9th, 2014 - Sunday - Ace of Swords - Once again the universe has a message for your.  Today that message is clear and clean: WORK.  Work HARD at your gift. DONE.

February 8th, 2014 - Saturday - Defeat / Prince of Disks

February 8th, 2014 - Saturday - Defeat / Prince of Disks - Saturday gave us two cards - Severe Psychic attack coupled with strong, dependable, earth solid energy.  Mental plane vs the earth energy.

February 7th, 2014 - Friday - Satiety

February 7th, 2014 - Friday - Satiety - It appears to me there are two types of DEPRESSION.  One is fated, karmic, biological, hereditary. It's in you and it's the ride you are on in this amusement park. Not much you can do about it except hold and play it out.  But there is another type of DEPRESSION... the rational response to the apparently meaninglessness of life.  This is GOOD depression.  This is when you start to realize that most of your life is 'bullshit'.  That you are not living authentically. That you are a false bundle of fear fibers.  This is a sign you are getting sick of your tiny prison cell.  

Look, if the cell you are in is pleasant and magical and cool, why leave?  You only leave when it gets uncomfortable in there.  Depression is the world's way of making you uncomfortable. It tells you to get up and get out.

I read this last night: "Rational depression isn't a defect or a disease, it's a perfectly appropriate response to the circumstances we find ourselves in.  We have no future, no substance, and no significance; what's not to be depressed about?"

Interesting, right?  Sounds like a midlife crisis to me, and the point I'm making is this: It's a good thing.

"Depression is fear with hope removed.  It arises as we discover that something we thought could be ours will never be ours.  Unhappiness is when we worry about not having something, depression is when we realize we'll never have it, and freedom is when we realize that nothing is ours and nothing CAN be ours, so that, in effect, nothing isn't ours."

It sounds a bit like growing up, yes?  "That despair is most often a sign that one is breaking away from the fairy-tale version of life, where good little boys and girls live happily ever after, and move into adulthood."

Whitman tells us: "I don't offer the old smooth prizes but rough new prizes.  These are the days that must happen to you."

So what do we do with the depression? We stop struggling.  Go INTO the fear.  Embrace it.  Let go and sink.  Just sink into it.  It is the fight against it that is causing our stress and unhappiness.  

So having read all this the last few days, (and remember, I'm pulling three cards in a row telling me that I'm searching for answers within the shadows), I wake up last night... and out of the blue... I feel a huge burden of depression.  It's all meaningless. It's all over. It's done.  There is nothing left.

And so... what do I do?  I actively surrender to it.  I choose to let go and entered into the depression and meaningless.  It swallowed me up in darkness and flowed through me like a dark wave of death.

Now granted... I've been opening like this for years now in a dedicated practice, but the fact that it happened in the middle of the night while I was so sleepy and out of context helped me approach it in a new way.  

What happened?  The depression flowed into me and swallowed me and dragged me down... I didn't resist. Yep... life is meaningless. I didn't argue.  And then... it flowed out and away.  

It left an empty space that was slowly filled with a sad gratitude.  Flow returned, a quiet joy, a calm peace, a precious moment, a.... (wait for it)... SATIETY.

February 6th, 2014 - Thursday - Completion

February 6th, 2014 - Thursday - Completion - Well dig a little and get a little closer, huh?  The Hermit, the Bear Dreamer, and now we get completion, only we got it reversed today.  Venus and Aries ponder love and war... So you aren't done. That's what it means.  Go back.  Go back to the shadow.  Go back to the cave, go back within.

Here is a quote from John F. Kennedy that will help us understand the work we have begun:  "All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days, nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet.  But let us begin."

Keep going.  Keep digging in the shadows and process your losses.

February 5th, 2014 - Wednesday - Magus Bear Dreamer

February 5th, 2014 - Wednesday - Magus Bear Dreamer - From the Hermit to the Bear Dream: You are on your own facing your demons. The cards say you can do it, that there is work to be done, but you have the answers to this messed up situation. WITHIN.  FURTHER WITHIN.

February 4th, 2014 - Tuesday - The Hermit

February 4th, 2014 - Tuesday - The Hermit - There is the sense of being caged today.  Iron bars enclosing you with a cackling demon outside. I hear pleas of 'let me live' but that won't happen and you know it.  No one gets out alive.  The jail keeper likes to throw you scraps for your jail cell, so you can redecorate it once in a while, and he throws in tons of sleeping pills so you can just check and forget the fact that you are imprisoned. But that doesn't change the fact that you ARE imprisoned, and your murderer is waiting outside, keeping you happy and stupid for as long as you let him.

February 3rd, 2014 - Monday - Success

February 3rd, 2014 - Monday - The urge to create success in the material world is prevalent today. It's a story, a character, a play you can engage in for an artistic expression. You've got to work.

February 2nd, 2014 - Sunday - Science

February 2nd, 2014 - Sunday - Science - On the day of the Super Bowl we get esoteric science and thinking and mind and should push into different realms.  Shaman.... Shaman... 

February 1st, 2014 - Saturday - Power

February 1st, 2014 - Saturday - The new month starts with POWER.  Good sign, with all the usual warnings about abusing your power.