February 12th, 2014 - Wednesday - Debauch - Last night felt stuck... woke up feeling stuck. Said to meself: I'm gonna pull the Debauch card. Smile: I pulled the Debauch card. Need me some debauchery. Today you want what you want in a purely primal way. It can sometimes be a good thing to just want something for what it is. But the emotional flow behind it is stuck, putrid, and getting sick. So your primal focus is distorted by the stuckness. That's good information for me to have. I like when I have that drive (Power Card) but when it comes from a place of sickness... that stuckness, that place where you lie to yourself and say: "Hey, I'm fine." You aren't fine. But you don't know that. Dangerous place to be and the crap that comes up out of that energy is black. The bottom line of this whole thing is that you and me, we are afraid of something. And that is what is causing the stuckness, and that is what causes a domino effect. Everything today coming from that fear.
Fear of nothingness. Fear of void. Fear of blackness.
The solution is always the same: Enter the fear. Enter the blackness. Go through. Don't deny. Get real honest with yourself. This is that good type of depression I talked about a while ago.
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