May 21st 2010 Friday

I pulled Indolence (8 of cups)

Jennie's card was Interference (8 of swords)

Jason Indolence, Happiness

Even more...

Yeah... I have a few more things to report from David Deida, and this one is REALLY FREAKING COOL. I'll tell you why.

So the masculine force is the consciousness and the direction. And the feminine is the flow. A woman wants a man who can be direct and know where he's going. So I apply that to Jennie, and I want to be all manly, and know where I'm going, and know how to get there. So here is the little fucking secret. I don't always know how to get there. And I wonder if she knows that, and feels some need to take over and be direct.

BUT... ah BUT... today I heard something that made me understand I wasn't fucking it up the whole time, in fact, I had it RIGHT. Righter than I thought.

So as a feminine partner you don't want to to do too much, because that will be animating your masculine again. The deliciousness is being with someone who always takes you farther than you can take yourself. That's the value of the a partner who knows how to take that leap...

So I'm thinking and have thought, but can I take Jennie farther than she can take herself? I've felt I can. But it's a question I ask. Then David Deida says this (to a woman in the audience) and I think this is the coolest:

And he doesn't know where he's going either... it's just the quality of okay, I know how to jump, jump with me! And you go... well... you know I've seen you jump and fall, I've seen you jump and land okay, but overall I have to say I like where you are jumping! I'm going to jump with you. But you know sometimes you are going to fall with him, because not every jump works. But a good man falls and laughs and says we took a good spill on that! Let's try it again. Instead of like MOMMY!!

That is what I feel to a large degree I bring to my relationship with Jennie. I think we should leap. I DO feel the flow of right action, and my gift to her is to say leap with me. I'm not the wise one, nor the smart one, I don't know where the damn flow will take us, but when it tells us to go, I'm the one who says to her, let's do it, and provides the direction. THAT... I'm good for. :) And I can give that direction unabashedly. I have no fears. I just do it. I am willing to jump where the flow tells me and I want her to come along, and I invite her too. And the flow will lead to her opening up and feeling God and feeling me and being magnified in LOVE. She can't do this by herself. She needs me to direct the jump over the cliff!

That's really cool. And it feels right. She maybe the expert on love but I am the expert on jumping. Here is some more:

Something happens when you are seen, and then known. That does something immediately. So when you are with someone who is seeing your deep heart and knowing you, you only can actually know yourself through someone else's love. So when someone really knows you deeply, suddenly you know yourself in a way that you didn't until that moment. Your birth as light (as a woman identified with her feminine) is to be seen. Your completion, your fulfillment is to be known through and through. But there is more, from seeing, to knowing, to CLAIMING. Because the next step for both of you, from his side, he has an inherent desire to CLAIM that light (you). And light WANTS to be claimed. You want to be seen, you want to be known, to be claimed (for real) and THIS CREATES a yoga inside you. Your light will shine brighter when seen, brighter still when known, and EXPLODE when claimed.

And I know how to get to seeing, knowing and claiming. It's in the flow of right action. So I say JUMP!

More Yoga

There was more... I just published that last post too early!

Okay, so in order to have good sexual yoga, there are THINGS you need to do. Here they are:

DISCIPLINE

It is all about PROACTIVELY creating the channels day and night so the light can flow. This is very much like Kaballah. You ACT on something, and then this ALLOWS the light to enter. So if you WANT a deep open relationship, you want that magical LIGHT, then you have to PROACTIVELY act. Without that you create no space for the light!!!

1. Sit with a straight spine

2. Breathe energy in a circlur pattern.

3. Open heart

4. Soft Belly

5. Soft Throat

So EVERY Yoga in life you want to learn and receive (light) has a set of necessary disciplinary activities!

Now there are NO disciplinary activities for realizing God.

The key of understanding here is that a lot of people FEEL INTO GOD, and realize him... and the result of that connection is to DO something with your life. The flow then directs you in Proactive things. And... and... this is where people falter. They felt God and they think that is enough!

It's not. Then to create the life in your life you have to proactively do things!!!!!! This is the Kaballah. This is Deida's teaching.

You open and feel God, and your heart is soft, and it's all being in the moment and it's just wonderful. But then God says (the flow of right action) okay, now DO THIS. And it doesn't matter if makes sense or not, (others may think you are insane, and the Kaballah says to expect this). But you DO IT. You proactively do the discipline. The knowledge comes. You have realized God. Now do it.

In a personal relationship, you felt the magic, it opened you up, and then you were given the disciplinary actions necessary to deepen and widen that relationship. In other words, opening to God I was led to Jennie, and that was great. But that isn't done. Now I have been told to DEEPEN and WIDEN that relationship. Keep going into it into it. This is what I've been told when I opened to God and let him flow through me. This was level three.

So level three was to deepen this relationship. And this is what the flow says. But realizing God I only needed to BE. Realizing Jennie I only needed to BE. And both of us did. We just WERE, and we both felt it. Then God said, okay, now that you have turned your life over to me and the flow, this is what you need to do to DEEPEN that relationship. You need DISCIPLINE and you need to do certain things.

That is the hard part for us. Not for everyone. Others are more doers, and have a hard time doing the right thing.

This is cool. Deep down I know that Jennie and I are suppose to deepen this relationship. Don't know where it will go from there, but that is the flow, and I am CERTAIN of it. We just need to do the disciplinary things necessary to open that love. And how do we know what to do? The flow will tell us and bring others into our lives to give us hints. Do the flow and develop the discipline in our relationship and experience the deep love and open heart transcendence.

David goes on to say that it takes a lot of work to create the depth in whatever form God's realization inside of you pushes you. Anyone can dance. Anyone can paint. Anyone can have a relationship. But it takes a lot to make that relationship, that dance, that painting a MASTERY. To make it THAT GOOD.

No matter how enlightened we are... we are not a professional dancer to channel that. There are lots of enlightened people who can't dance, can't fuck, and don't earn money.

Yoga of Life

One of the interesting things about David Deida is the his stuff is like onions. Yep, it has layers, and depth. I think all good material does. The cool thing is that it's always challenging, and always dead simple. Simple simple simple.

So today he was talking about making decisions and understanding the consequences of those decisions. The clarity of knowing the path opens the path. So if you want children, he says, understand that you are sacrificing some sleep in the future for them and all that goes with it. Make sure your choice is clear. If you want more money, consider the choices that will go with that. I'll have to go to school, I'll have to choose this friend and not that one, I'll have to forgo this and I'll have to choose this.

Likewise in a relationship. If you want a deep amazing relationship, then realize that you are going to have to make some choices. If you want a deep relationship them you have to open up, you have to be real, you have to be vulnerable, you have to be clear. Wanting a deep relationship and not being willing to do those things won't get you what you want. They come with the package.

So if you choose to be a dancer, you now make different choices: You now choose to exercise an hour a day instead of not exercise. So once you choose to be a dancer you make specific choices that now create the possibility of the yoga. You do NOT go now that I'm a dancer I'll just go do anything I want and just turn it into dance. That doesn't create the yoga of life, whether it be mastery in some thing, or financial success, or depth of relationship. You can't just say you want something and not follow with the choices that allow it to happen. If you want an opening in your heart and want deep love, then you have to make the choices that allow that love to fill you up.

Realizing God, of opening to that realization of BEING (as opposed to doing) is totally separate from what we are talking about above. You can be poor and have no sexual life, and be one with God. You could also be Rich and have sex all the time but not realize divinity. The idea is to do both of them. But one (realizing God) is done by just BEING, and the other is done by making choices. So realizing you are one with God is great, but if you want mastery in your self and your relationship, then you will have to do things about it.

Friday, May 14th 2010

Today I pulled the Luxury card. The warning of EXCESS. Getting fixated! Take a step back and start a new path. Cool! I read the card to Tom and he said it sounded like the last 5 years of his live! :)

Jason

May 6th, 2010 - May 8th 2010

Yesterday's card was the ART card. ALMOST THERE!!!

Todays card is:

Knight of Wands

The ARIES CARD!!!!

Angel of Expansion of the Individuals Potential

Action oriented!

Active and Energetic.

Wednesday, May 5th

Isn't this Cinco de Mayo? I think it is. A holiday in Mexico. Anyway, I pulled the STRIFE card today. This is a wand card, a fiery wand card! This card indicates... tension in the day. Conflict! There is conflict. It might be personal. It might be in the world. It could be INSIDE me. I might feel divided inside, wanting two different things. But the card is good, because it means the UNIVERSE is trying to get you to see clearly, and the tool it's using is... CONFLICT . It pushes that tension up. Maybe it's been laying low, but NOW you push it up so you have to face it. STAND UP AND DEAL WITH IT. There is good resistance in the world. You resist REACTION. And you don't want to 'react' to this tension, you want to PROACTIVELY DEAL WITH IT. Get up NOW and DO IT. This could indicated exhaustion because you haven't dealt with the strife, just kept it buried. You are falling. Let go. Don't protect yourself. Feel your feelings. Choose to forgive. Be willing to understand another person's position. Step out of your won needs for a moment. Inside is a ll the power you seek. Be truly powerful means you can be generous to others and listen objectively without creating conflicts.

Power was my card yesterday, Strife and conflict is my card today. The cards go very well together. If you have power, you will have conflict, and you have to face it proactively. It is exciting. Something to enjoy, even if it looks scary. It isn't. You can do it!

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

These day seems resonant to me of something... can't remember what.

I pulled a card at the near end of the work day.

I got... POWER. I've gotten that before. Asher got Princess of Wands, and Riley go The Hermit.

So what does the Power card mean to me?

As I have grown in my own power lately, by NOT reacting more and more, (thus creating Light) and ALSO by opening to every feeling, taking in all emotions and things in life, and feeling them, not trying to reject them... both of these I think have helped me grow in silent power. Part of the card suggests that this 'power' inside will lead to greater influence 'outside' with others. Once you know yourself, then others have immediate respect for you. This card is a call to power for me and an opportunity to take charge and make a difference.

But there are warnings, when ever you DO gain power inside... and here they are:

Am I abusing my power?

Am i stuck in my Ego?

Do i need to be right?

Am I manifesting my power with integrity?

Do i really know myself or am I just fooling myself?

Am I refusing to explain myself to others?

I think power is a dangerous thing. Once you get a little power, it can make you act like an ass. That is another reason why it's a GOOD idea to have some power. You might need to go through act like an ass stage so that you can LEARN to handle power and be good and open no matter what. Go fearlessly in your power.

It's like the difference between someone who says they will beat you in a game of chess because they are just trying to put you off your game, to intimidate you, or those who honestly think they are going to win and keep that to themselves. True confidence.

On another note entirely I wanted to discuss the concept of love. But I will have to think about it more. :)