Feminine Energy

Today I was feeling a bit tired, working along, you know, focused on work, getting things done, when some emails come in. I've had my email address for 15 years now and get my fair share of junk. Playboy always sends me advertizements, and there was one that came in today with your usual bevy of blond girls and their boobs. But as I looked at it briefly, something became interestingly apparent. A few of the girls were just naked girls, not really anything special. But a few of them were filled with FEMININE energy. It was amazing. It had absolutely NOTHING to do with their looks. Just their energy. So I decided to try and experiment. I let the energy WASH over me, and HOLY SHIT, it just filled me up. I just spent a lot of time listening to Suzzanne teach about Sex and Love, and she's said it many times, and David Deida says it many times.... but men like women for their RADIANCE. Their radiant power of light! I think I have known this since I was a child, but I didn't always understand it. For instance, I think the basic male tendancy is to confuse that radiance for sex. They think it means sex. They hunt women for sex, but what they REALLY want deep down is the radiance of lifeforce, of the feminine. Now you can talk about all this shit all you want, but let me tell you when you open up and FEEL it, then you know it's true. There is an energy in the feminine.

Jennie is a deep feminine creature, and she has this POWER that I can just feel. But she keeps it closed so much, that it's often hidden. It's weird, because this energy IS WHAT I WANT FROM HER, and yet she keeps it so hidden. The path for me is to try and open her to that, so she can feel it, and DO it as well.

I THINK... that this is the path to God. Or at least the Goddess. I grew up thinking about God as a Male Energy. And then later as I got older I thought about Heavenly Mother (as the Mormons call her). And at times I would pray to her, and it seemed there were times when she was more responsive than Heavenly Father.

Lately, I am evolving through feeling open, this new feeling. I think there ARE two God Forces. God, who works through the masculine consciousness, the focus, and Heavenly Mother, who works through the power of life and death, the change. I think this is obvious to some cultures, and people, who have worshipped the feminine mother goddess, but coming from a Male dominated Christian Religion culture as I have, it's kind of NEW. But I've discovered it on my own, as I FEEL the mother goddess energy.

This is all very exctiting to me, and the power of the feminine, to infuse me and fill me with light. I think this is kind of the SUM of what Suzzanne was talking to us about this weekend. And yes I should obviously tell you more about that when I get time. To the women the message was: You have the l ight, GIVE IT TO YOUR MAN. And to the man, the message was FOCUS ON YOUR WOMAN.

Here is another thought, and I feel this coming through my life at almost all times. Let me tell you this is an EXPERIENCE thought, not just a philosophical thought. When I focus on a woman, I have a lot of power. That masculine power focuses. BUT... my mistake throughout my later life, (not so much when I was young, because then I just wanted sex, and didn't think about opening a woman), was to focus on the woman, and then... bring that power to bear, open her up and divinely lavish myself in her feminine energy.... and then go do something else.

Yep... go do something else. The masculine has a mission, something else in his life. Jennie needs to balance me by BRINGING ME BACK TO FOCUS on the feminine, through the use of her energy, her body, and her sexuality. BRING ME BACK. Because as a man, I just tend to drift into other focus. My mission. Which is great except that the power source for my mission is my woman!!!! And when I ignore her, take the focus off her... she shuts down. If the Jennie, the radiant light of my life, is ignored, if she is not seen, no praised, not lavished and loved and worshipped, she shuts down. And my light goes away.

This explains to me so many people's relationships. Let me describe this path in bullets!

• Man sees woman, with radiant light.
• Man focuses on woman, wants her, brings his masculine to the focus
• Woman likes that, and turns on her light for him.
• They get together
• Man, now filled, turns his focus elsewhere.
• Woman, now not noticed, dims her light
• Man, realizes the light is dim, and wants more light WITHOUT FOCUSING ON THE WOMAN.
• Man turns to other women for sources of energy or cocoons away from her.

We just watched a movie called Couples Retreat. In it one of the men, played by John Favroue, says something like this: "How can you love one woman all your life? You get bored! You need more light!"

The problem is, in the movie, he stopped focusing on his woman, and so she dimmed her light. It wasns't gone, it just wasn't shinning for him. This energetic expression plays out all the time in relationships.

The results, as far as I can see them are usually like this. Either man searches elsewhere for woman who will give him light, or woman searches elsewhere for man who will focus on her, or both turn to life and bury themselves into a sexless friendship that just chugs along but doesn't fulfill either of them. This 'friendship' relationship works when men are busy with career and woman are busy with kids.

Hm... interesting thoughts. Feminine energy. What a boost! What a blast! What a beautiful thing! I must say, this is cool to realize and feel.