January 19th, 2010

SORROW

Today was the sorrow card. Meditate on the concept of sorrow. Without learning what the card actually means, consider sorrow. It is not sadness. It is something totally different. Just as letting out of the air in your soul, a emptying feeling. What is Sorrow? Is it sadness for something you have done?

The Sorrow card is guided by Saturn, and is a Libra card. It says: "When we struggle with the belief that life is not fair or just this causes sorrow within."

So do I feel that life is not fair? I have certainly felt that way before. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel life is not just. That is a universal feeling isn't it? That sorrow (or sometimes even ANGER) when life is not fair (we can blame God) or when there is injustice. That really gets us going when someone deserves something and doesn't get it. That's an immediate feeling up inside us, whether it happens to us or someone else.

Sadness and Sorrow are MENTAL conditions, not emotional ones. This brings to mind the idea that all emotions had their seed in a thought or stimulus. You simply don't just feel an emotion. Something triggers it. Pathways. All the Charmaine stuff. Self doubt is an internal dialog of the mind.

I had a chat with my friend Ben Larsen today, who has had some difficulties with his wife. Could this be it? Could Ben be feeling SORROW, that life is unfair? I know when I was having problems with Samantha, I often felt it was just unfair that I had to go through it. That it was unjust. I didn't deserve it. Am I tapping into Ben's feelings? Depression and Sorrow come when a Mind is unable to let go of an event or perspective. With this card... the Tarot is telling you to let your mind out of the destructive loop it is in. That could definitely be Ben, but let's not be obtuse. Could it be me?

Of course it could be! So what destructive loop might I be in? How can I choose to cultivate joy? When Sorrow comes into my mind, can I acknowledge it and CHOOSE a more pleasant thought?

The very core of this card is the concept that our thoughts control our emotions. What am I thinking when I'm feeling down? What am I thinking right now? I just thought the words, "I am happy." Did it work? Did I feel happy? Sure. "I am peace." "I am joy." "I am safe." "I am faithful." I am faith. Hope. Love. Charity. In the name of Jesus Christ! In the name of GOD. I choose to think good thoughts. That's it. Just choose to THINK GOOD THOUGHTS.

Am I strong enough to allow the sorry to move through me? Am I prepared to be transformed into a more positive energy? YES! Am I afraid of my inner pain! Sometimes, yes. Am I afraid to be alone? Yes and No. Am I afraid there is no one out there for me. No. Am I afraid I will never stop crying? No. Am I afraid to admit where I have sorrow for fear no one will love me? No.

THINK. COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR.

Thoughts control your emotions. Feel into that. THINK into that. And yet we are more than our feelings, more than our thoughts, more than our emotions.

Jason

PS - Channeling class was awesome. Tiring, but good. It opened me up and tired me out. We need to go on a retreat somewhere. I'm going to go look up David Deida's website and see if he's speaking anywhere in the world soon.