Monday, May 20, 2013

May 20th, 2013 - Monday - Worry



May 20th, 2013 – Monday – Worry
We have come off our weekend of Truce and Wealth… into  worry this rainy morning here in Utah.  The Aleister Crowley and Lady Freida Harris Thoth Tarot card Worry is the 5 of Disks.  We got it reversed, which suggests some extreme anxiety.


This kind of emotion is no fun at all.  It is a Taurus Mercury energy, telling you that your worry is going to cause serious problems in your body, mind, and environment.   There is the hint that you could lose control here, the anxiety could overwhelm and you could literally need some help getting on top of these fears.


We need help!

So I think we talked about this before last week, while talking about Indolence.  When the mind gets going like this, and the energy gets stuck, and you feel overwhelmed, the key is to change the rails you are running on. 
I had an interesting experience that showed this to me that I want to share with you:  A number of years ago, during a time when I felt extremely anxious and overwhelmed and depressed, I would take these long walks.  For weeks, I had a knot in my stomach.  It was always present, a low grade hurt.  One particular morning, I was walking along thinking about the problems I had, when a snarling mean ass dog charged me from a neighbor’s yard.


This dog was angry, and charging me.  I immediately went into a defensive posture. I knew not to run, but I stood my ground ready to kick and fight if I had to.  The dog scared me, and came up close and savagely barked at me.  I was ready for war… the neighbor came running out and got his dog before I got bit…
As I stood there I realized something strange.


I felt calm. The knot in my stomach was gone… 
The dog attack had jolted my nervous system into a totally different track. I was stunned.  I realized at that moment how much I had been thinking about things recreating the anxiety and feeling of pain.  When I focused on something totally different… the pain went away. 
Now this is easier said than done.  A dog attack was pretty shocking and jolted me.  But for weeks before that I walked feeling anxious and couldn't stop thinking about it.  So the clue of this anxious card is to jump start your system.  Get out.  Do something different.  Run.  Yell.  Scream.  Do SOMETHING.
And that isn't easy.  When you are stuck, it can be hard to get the willpower and energy to get up.  But that’s just our minds keeping us paralyzed.  You actually do have the energy in your body… you actually do have the willpower… it’s just your brain on anxiety convincing yourself that you don’t.


The reality is your situation might not be great.  You had a vision of the way things were supposed to be, and it has not come to pass.  The ground under your feet is shaky.   Something good didn't happen the way you hoped or the way you felt deeply it would.  And this card is telling you yes, you have suffered a setback and your nervous system and brain pathways are going to get anxious.
So… the advice is to get moving.  Don’t sit still.  Even if you can only take one step… do it.  Force yourself to take one little baby step.  Get out of the mud one little effort at a time.  Everything will start going your way again… you are going to win this war… it’s just going to take a mental setback today as you battle yourself.



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