Saturday, May 4, 2013

May 4th, 2013 - Saturday - Disappointment




May 4th, 2013 - Saturday - Disappointment

Is it possible to be disappointed when you pull the disappointment card?  Aleister Crowley and Lady Freida Harris put the Disappointment Tarot card as the 5 of Cups.  Suzanne Wagner explains what it means when it’s upright or reversed.

But it really doesn't take a psychic or magician to tell you what disappointment means, does it?  Something isn't going right and we are feeling bad about it.  That’s the part that gets us in trouble.  The emotion.  Emotions are labels we put onto input. 

Or better said: Emotions are labels we put onto feelings.  Things happen and we then put a label on it, and then we make it worse by starting to think about.



Let me show you an example:  Say you are in love with someone, and they did not mail a letter for you that you asked them to.  This triggers a feeling in your body.  At that point, it’s just a feeling.  In this case it would be an unpleasant feeling.  It might feel a little like pain, a little like irritation (depending on how important that letter is, but let’s keep it simple and say the letter isn't that important).   So you have this feeling in your body.  Probably in your stomach.

But then we got to go and label it!  We got to muddy the waters.  It is what we humans do, but let me show you how:  You now start to label this ‘feeling’, you call it disappointment.  You are disappointed the person let you down.  So you have a ‘stimulus’ and you are labeling that as an emotion ‘disappointment’ (5 of cups) and now you are going to really screw yourself: You’re going to think about it.   You are going to ruminate, and start telling stories.  Why did the person not mail the letter? Did they forget? Are they mad at you?   Are they planning to kill you?

Here’s what happens when you label an emotion and then think about it:  You anchor it.  That means you lock it into your nervous system.

Who would EVER want to lock disappointment into their nervous system?



No one wants that, but they don’t understand how it happens, unless they train to ‘remain’ open to all feelings all the time, and let them pass through them.   Training your mind not to label feelings and not tell stories with your mind is not easy. 

I used to do it all the time. I was the king of storytelling.  In my need to predict the future and the meaning of all things (ironic, isn't it, now that I’m writing a blog on psychic cards!!!!) I would tell stories about every single thing that happened.

And I still do it… it’s become habit, and I train every day NOT to do it.  To breathe, to open my heart, so soften my solar plexus, to feel things… and let them pass through.  I still look for patterns… I still see things that I suddenly attach meaning too in a story telling way… but I’m getting better.

Think of yourself sitting on the beach.  Watch the waves come in, one after another.  At one point… you are going to be able to ‘predict’ what the next wave is going to look like and do.  More importantly, you can predict what it ‘won’t’ do.  You don’t have to ‘think’ to do this.  You can just observe it.  And eventually you’ll see the pattern and be able to predict the next wave.



That is the psychic power of observation and anyone can do it.  That’s what we do with the cards here on this Aleister Crowley Tarot Card Blog.  We’re looking for waves…

But what about Disappointment, the 5 of Cups? We've identified it as a freaking emotion… but what does pulling it today mean in the patterns?  It probably is pretty simple. Look, small or large, we get disappointed every day.  That just happens.  But today… we might be pretending we are NOT disappointed… we could be ‘feeling’ hurt and denying that ‘feeling’. 

This might sound complicated… but the key is to ‘feel’ the hurt… accept it… and let it pass through you without labeling it unduly and without thinking about it.  When someone you loves lets you down, you are going to feel hurt.  That hurt in your stomach and heart is real, it’s a real ‘feeling’.  What you do with that feeling is where this card comes in.  This card is warning us today that we who read this (and even those who write it) are going to want to be diligent about avoiding adding labels and thinking about our feelings more than necessary.

Today we are going to train to feel open and wide, through deep breath to start with, and avoid thinking too much about the pain we are feeling.    This will lead to love…


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