May
4th, 2013 - Saturday - Disappointment
Is
it possible to be disappointed when you pull the disappointment card? Aleister Crowley and Lady Freida Harris put
the Disappointment Tarot card as the 5 of Cups.
Suzanne Wagner explains what it
means when it’s upright or reversed.
But
it really doesn't take a psychic or magician to tell you what disappointment
means, does it? Something isn't going
right and we are feeling bad about it.
That’s the part that gets us in trouble.
The emotion. Emotions are labels
we put onto input.
Or
better said: Emotions are labels we put onto feelings. Things happen and we then put a label on it,
and then we make it worse by starting to think about.
Let
me show you an example: Say you are in
love with someone, and they did not mail a letter for you that you asked them
to. This triggers a feeling in your
body. At that point, it’s just a
feeling. In this case it would be an
unpleasant feeling. It might feel a little
like pain, a little like irritation (depending on how important that letter is,
but let’s keep it simple and say the letter isn't that important). So you have this feeling in your body. Probably in your stomach.
But
then we got to go and label it! We got
to muddy the waters. It is what we
humans do, but let me show you how: You
now start to label this ‘feeling’, you call it disappointment. You are disappointed the person let you
down. So you have a ‘stimulus’ and you
are labeling that as an emotion ‘disappointment’ (5 of cups) and now you are going
to really screw yourself: You’re going to
think about it. You are going to
ruminate, and start telling stories. Why
did the person not mail the letter? Did they forget? Are they mad at you? Are they
planning to kill you?
Here’s
what happens when you label an emotion and then think about it: You anchor it. That means you lock it into your nervous
system.
Who
would EVER want to lock disappointment into their nervous system?
No
one wants that, but they don’t understand how it happens, unless they train to ‘remain’
open to all feelings all the time, and let them pass through them. Training your mind not to label feelings and
not tell stories with your mind is not easy.
I
used to do it all the time. I was the king of storytelling. In my need to predict the future and the
meaning of all things (ironic, isn't it, now that I’m writing a blog on psychic
cards!!!!) I would tell stories about every single thing that happened.
And
I still do it… it’s become habit, and I train every day NOT to do it. To breathe, to open my heart, so soften my
solar plexus, to feel things… and let them pass through. I still look for patterns… I still see things
that I suddenly attach meaning too in a story telling way… but I’m getting better.
Think
of yourself sitting on the beach. Watch
the waves come in, one after another. At
one point… you are going to be able to ‘predict’ what the next wave is going to
look like and do. More importantly, you
can predict what it ‘won’t’ do. You don’t
have to ‘think’ to do this. You can just
observe it. And eventually you’ll see
the pattern and be able to predict the next wave.
That
is the psychic power of observation and anyone can do it. That’s what we do with the cards here on this
Aleister Crowley Tarot Card Blog. We’re
looking for waves…
But
what about Disappointment, the 5 of Cups? We've identified it as a freaking emotion…
but what does pulling it today mean in the patterns? It probably is pretty simple. Look, small or
large, we get disappointed every day.
That just happens. But today… we
might be pretending we are NOT disappointed… we could be ‘feeling’ hurt and
denying that ‘feeling’.
This
might sound complicated… but the key is to ‘feel’ the hurt… accept it… and let
it pass through you without labeling it unduly and without thinking about
it. When someone you loves lets you
down, you are going to feel hurt. That
hurt in your stomach and heart is real, it’s a real ‘feeling’. What you do with that feeling is where this
card comes in. This card is warning us
today that we who read this (and even those who write it) are going to want to
be diligent about avoiding adding labels and thinking about our feelings more
than necessary.
Today
we are going to train to feel open and wide, through deep breath to start with,
and avoid thinking too much about the pain we are feeling. This
will lead to love…
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